By Melissa Roske

There are people out there who are… oh, how can I diplomatically put this?… ready, willing and able to drive the sanest, most patient person on Planet Earth absolutely and positively NUTS.

Whether it’s your annoying Aunt Ethel (“When I was a girl I knew the value of a dollar!”); your curmudgeon of a boss (“I said I needed that report YESTERDAY, damn it!”), or your well-meaning but clearly misguided sister (“Shouldn’t you try bangs? You can’t see the wrinkles that way…”), the result is the same: Their insensitive, unfair or poorly chosen words make you feel like yesterday’s dinner — rotten.

Don’t despair. With the following tips and tricks from my trusty coach’s toolkit, you’ll be able to avoid allowing difficult people get the best of you. They don’t deserve it!

–> 1. In one ear and out the other.
Picture this: You’re having lunch with your mother, who happens to know that you’ve been on WeightWatchers for the last several months. She sees you reaching for the breadbasket. Again. She shakes her head, gives you one of her best “Do you really need that extra dinner roll, dear?” looks, and opens her mouth to let you have it (and I don’t mean the roll!).

What to do: Instead of reverting to behavior fitting of that of a sullen teenager, try this visualization technique: Imagine a water pitcher filled to the brim with your mother’s well meaning but hurtful words. See the words being poured from the pitcher into one of your ears and out the other one. Watch the words as they drip languidly to the ground, forming a large, disorganized, and useless puddle.

Now, doesn’t that feel good?

The main benefit: Once you’re able to master the “I’m Not Listening; I’m Not Listening!” technique, you’ll see that words are only words. They don’t have power or control over us – unless we allow them to.

–> 2. Avoid confrontation.
Picture this: Your bossy Cousin Rona is over for dinner at your house and volunteers to help you clean up after the meal. Mid-clean-up, she notices that you’re not rinsing the plates thoroughly before loading them into the dishwasher. You’re also tossing out “perfectly good leftovers” and not using enough Fantastik on the countertops. Your worst crime of all? Improperly sealed Tupperware lids. She continues to comment on your shortcomings, over, and over, and over, and over…

What to do: Tell Cousin Rona, kindly but firmly, that while you’re grateful for and appreciative of her help, this is the way you’re used to scraping your plates, cleaning your countertops, tossing food scraps and sealing Tupperware. If she still refuses to put a sock in it, offer to let her load the dishwasher, scrape the plates and seal the Tupperware. Now you can go into the family room and put your feet up. Ahhh… that’s better!

The main benefit: Nipping annoying, bossy behavior in the bud not only makes you feel better, it helps you to show the world who’s really the queen of your castle (or kitchen, as the case may be) – YOU.

–> 3. Use distraction.
Picture this: Your son’s Bar Mitzvah is quickly approaching and your mother-in-law has made it her life’s work to scrutinize and question each and every detail of the upcoming event, from the color of the tablecloths to the inscription on the kippahs. You’re at your wits’ end, and are having some pretty intense revenge fantasies…

What to do: Instead of reading your mother-in-law the riot act, which will only hurt her feelings, bruise her ego and make your life worse than it already is, give her several minor but necessary tasks to perform: greeting guests at the reception; helping to check coats; mingling during cocktail hour. She’ll be thrilled that you’ve asked for her help, and you’ll be thrilled that she’s out of your hair. Problem solved!

The main benefit: Well meaning relatives can get under your skin, but why be cruel when it’s easier to be kind?

–> 4. Don’t take it personally.
Picture this: Your gossipy next-door neighbor sidles up to you and informs you that she’s recently seen your teenage son in town, trying to buy liquor with a fake ID. Despite the fact that you’re furious, you feel as if your son’s juvenile-delinquent behavior is none of your neighbor’s business.

What to do: Instead of telling your neighbor where to stick it, remember: many hard-to-get-along with folks aren’t aware of the pain and emotional havoc their words and actions wreak. Like a bull in a china shop, these Nosy Nellies are blithely unaware of the damage they cause.

Your best course of action in this situation is to politely thank your neighbor for her concern, and walk away. If you act as if you care, you’re only adding fuel to her already stoked fire. Nothing annoys a gossip more than disinterest. Nothing.

The main benefit: The biggest mistake made when dealing with a difficult or gossipy person is to personalize the experience. Take yourself out of it, and keep in that way. You’ve got better things to do with your time than to fritter it away with idle or malicious gossip.

–> 5. Reject comparisons.
Picture this: Your friend Barbara’s favorite pastime is bragging about her “amazing” daughter, Zoe. Not only does Zoe have a genius IQ, she’s captain of her school’s volleyball team, plays competitive tennis, is an accomplished violinist, and has just received a full scholarship to Harvard. Your daughter, on the other hand, a lovely but average teenager, gives you sass and yanks your chain. You hate to make resentment-filled comparisons, but it’s so hard not to.

What to do: Consider the fact that Barbara is waxing poetic about her offspring for a reason. Maybe your friend feels as if she’s never reached her potential and is thus living vicariously through her daughter. Or maybe Barb is bragging in order to cover up the truth: That her beloved Zoe is actually failing Spanish, contemplating yet another body piercing, and has a new boyfriend named Spike, whose prison sentence is almost up. Hey, you never know…

The main benefit: Giving people the benefit of the doubt serves a greater purpose than making you appear holier-than-thou. It shows that appearances can be deceiving, and what you see is not necessary not what you get. Not by a long shot.

Melissa Roske, ACC, president of Wheels in Motion Coaching ( http://www.WheelsinMotionCoaching.com ), is a New York University Certified Life and Personal Coach, committed to helping her clients to realize their potential and to successfully attain both their personal and career-related goals. Melissa, a member of the International Coach Federation, is also an internationally published author, advice columnist and relationships advisor.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Melissa_Roske

By Chris DeClute

Some are happy, other’s – not so much. Whatever the lil’ darling’s demeanor, the school year is about to begin (again).

Parents everywhere are being hammered with a plethora of preparation starting at but not limited to peanut-free lunch ideas, school supply requests, clothing and demands for indoor shoes. Never fully prepared for this onslaught, parent’s tendency is to use the “rushing in head first” method to cope with these items but the old standby of “leave it to the last minute” is more popular than ever! Focus – that’s the key, not just for our sakes but the kiddies too!

School=learning.
Daily, children are tromped off to school in hopes of gaining the insight into “the art of learning”. It’s not necessarily the marks that give an accurate reflection of a child’s progress but their ability to follow instructions and source information. Anything can be achieved with these two processes mastered – harnessing that focus is where the battle lies in the school system, social issues and distractions abound – teachers definitely have their hands full!

Play=learning.
Let’s not forget the learning that happens spontaneously through play. Take time out and watch a child as they play solo. Completely immersed in their tasks and utterly unaware of their audience children can reach an almost euphoric escape from reality, something that as adults we can only dream of.

For this kind of learning (play) environment one only has to look as far as… home and your Persian Rug. Feeling safe children can shift their concentration to things that they are attracted or drawn to. The Persian Rug incorporates many of these feel good factors:

Color: Color effects mood, children can feel secure and grounded (beige), relaxed (pale green), calm and restful (blue), and excited and energetic with the color red.

Design: Imagination unleashed! Designs can propel your child into a field of flowers or a series of dinky car highways. When the mind has no preconceived expectations the possibilities are endless. Another example of the power of imagination is gazing at cloud formations…everyone sees something different. The possibilities are limitless!

Comfort: Children will do things instinctually; there is no method to their direction other than personal satisfaction. Somewhere along the way we as adults lose that spontaneity, responsibility laden and sleep deprived our personal requirements become more necessity driven and less self-indulgent. Walking barefoot, lying on the rug to play, even taking a running jump and sliding across the rug are perfect examples of self fulfilling enjoyment because it feels good. There is something to be learned from the wee ones.

The cycle repeats itself every year. By the end of the 2nd week of school all the dread and anticipation will dissipate leaving behind…routine! Whew! As for the home aspect of learning that’s ongoing. Now all that needs to be resolved is our self-regulated schedule of walking barefoot…

For generations a select few have enjoyed the timeless beauty of Persian Rugs. Chris DeClute is a freelance writer who enjoys writing about her newfound appreciation and hopes to reveal this secret world, with all its hidden benefits. http://www.Rugman.com Persian rugs are unique, authentic imported treasures that withstand the test of time.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_DeClute

By Matthew J James

No matter what stage in life you’re at, it isn’t always easy to make new friends. Whilst at school, college or university, making friends is relatively easy, even for shy people, as people are of a similar age, with fairly similar interests, in the same location. However, making friends later on in life can be much more difficult. There may be colleagues at work, people you know at the gym, somebody you walk past every day, acquaintances in the pub, but how many of these are your real friends? How many would you trust with a secret, or a problem? For people who have moved away to a new town, or whose relationship circumstances have changed, having to make new friends can be a daunting prospect. Following these suggestions can help make finding new friends a bit easier.

1) Do something! Don’t stay in waiting for new friends to suddenly appear. They won’t. Sign up for an evening course and you could learn a new language, become a wine expert, improve your cooking skills, or make better use of your computer in just a few weeks. Find a gym, play sports at a sports centre or at a local pitch, join a film club, learn to dance, take up a martial art, or do voluntary work. Go on the works night out, anything rather than spend another night in front of the TV.

2) If you can’t find a hobby or a social activity that interests you, why not see if there’s a Friendly Society or Friendship Club nearby. These are a great way of meeting people, and can be invaluable if you have moved to a new town, and don’t know anybody. As well as like minded people, these clubs offer many social activities and social group events which can range from quiz nights at a local pub, to foreign travel, and may include special offers on such products as medical insurance.

3) Although easier said than done, try not to be shy when meeting people for the first time, even though you may feel you lack confidence. When you are in a social situation, aim to make the first move, and other shy people will be glad you broke the ice. Remember to listen more than you talk as people usually like to talk about themselves, so give them the opportunity, but don’t talk about yourself unless asked. Ask plenty of questions but nothing too personal or controversial. You can ask them how they got to be invited, or how they know the host, about their job, about their hobbies, music, film and TV tastes and more. Be yourself, and try not to change just to fit in. Accept that you won’t like everyone you talk to, and not everyone will like you.

4) You may be able to tell a little about a person from the way they dress, or from what they are carrying. If somebody is carrying a camera, listening to a portable music player, reading a book or magazine, walking a dog, or pushing a pram, you might have something else to talk about.

5) Try to ask open questions such as “What do you think of …?” rather than “Do you like …?” as they require a more detailed answer, and encourage conversation. Questions that require a Yes or No answer don’t make for an easy conversation.

6) Like minded people can often become friends. If you’ve always wanted to do something different, or take up a new activity, this could be the ideal time. From abseiling to zoology, there’s bound to be a local club or society that you can join. For example, if you play a musical instrument, why not visit a local music shop and see if you can find a band to join, or musicians to play with. If you’re an avid reader, why not join a book club. Volunteer work can be very rewarding if you have the free time. If you’re an animal lover, there may be an animal rescue centre that you could help out. Cycle shops will often have information about local routes and the local cycling club. Getting to know your neighbours can also be an easy way to make friends.

7) You can also make friends online using social media sites or chat rooms. However, these types of friendships are not usually the same as real life friendships. You might have a great time talking to someone in a foreign country who likes the same music and films as you do, but this friend probably won’t be able to give you a lift if your car won’t start.

Once you’ve made friends, don’t forget to get a phone number or email address, and be positive! Contact your new friend, but don’t be put out if they are too busy or unable to meet you for a while. Remember not to seem clingy or desperate. If you have the opportunity to make more friends, then do so, don’t feel like you have to rely on just one person.

9) Being an honest, dependable and trustworthy person and not divulging too much about yourself or other people is important. People value loyalty and punctuality too, so treat other people as you would like to be treated. If you turn up late, and start divulging secrets, repeating rumours or spreading gossip, people will be less likely to be friendly towards you, and may not trust you again.

10) As well as the good times like going out for a drink, or to a gig, you should be prepared to help out when a friend really needs your help. Whether a shoulder to cry on, a late night lift home, or advice, friends should be reliable and there might be a time when you have to be a real friend to someone who needs you.

Finding a good friend won’t happen overnight, and you will probably need to work at maintaining friendships. Sometimes a friend won’t be able to see you for a while, and sometimes that friend will want to see you daily. Some people need time to themselves, and others don’t.

Remember your old friends can still be contacted by phone or email even if you no longer live near them. As well as phone calls and emails, why not make a special effort to see them once in a while and make a weekend or a holiday out of it.

Friendships can last a lifetime, and there are plenty of people who still keep in touch with people who are thousands of miles away. Get out there, find yourself some new friends and have a hectic social life!

Joining Oddfellows is the ideal way of making friends and enjoying a wide range of social activities suitable for young people and older people looking for friendship.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matthew_J_James

By Robin Rushlo

Most of us get into our own business only to realize we have just created a job for ourselves with a boss (ourselves) who is worse than the last boss we had! In this position we wear every hat from prospector to recruiter to bookkeeper to manager to sales person to marketing director to… Well, you get the picture!Why do we put ourselves through this torture? Why do we wonder why things don’t work for us? Why do we work with a dead downline (or are they)? What is the strategy we are missing? Why are we doing what our sponsor (or upline) tells us but things are still not working for us?

The answers can be found at a new way of training audios and articles. There are many pieces to the marketing puzzle and often can seem overwhelming to truly understand what it takes to succeed. Too often we fall into a trap of busy work or building our business the same way we would work a job when working for someone else. Unfortunately, an approach like you would use as an employee does not work when building your own business. I do agree that you must first treat “being accountable to take action” the same way you would if you were working for someone else. Find a mentor to be accountable too that will help you be the CEO of your business. However, you have to think like the CEO because you are the CEO.I have found a remarkable book that helped me a number of years ago in understanding how to truly think like a CEO. This helped me to begin restructuring my business. I began to understand what was essential to create duplication.I realized that I must stop working “IN” my business and start working “ON” my business. The answer to all of the above questions and to fully understand the meaning of working “on” my business was found in the book, “The E-Myth” (or the E-Myth Revisited) by Michael Gerber. Michael teaches about why most people fail in business and he leads you to the answer of “What to do about it!” Here is the main point Michael gives the reader and what all of us should be doing in our business:

Rule #1: Stop working “IN” your business and start working “ON” your business! Michael taught me through his book that you should create a system as if you were to duplicate it 5,000 times. Isn’t network marketing about duplication? Yes it is and when you think about what actions you are taking, are you taking actions which can be duplicated?

Create a Business of Duplication This was a major challenge for me over the past few years of creating success in my business. Often, I would grow beyond what was duplicatable. That was ok because I wanted to remain in a position of uniqueness in the market.But when we look at positioning to create massive duplication, we must focus beyond ourselves and what we can do and focus on the basic fundamental things that will help us grow exponentially. Duplication requires three key elements:

1) System
2) Strategy
3) Leadership

These three key elements are integral to helping to work “ON” your business rather than just “IN” it. You should make certain that you understand these key elements and how to create duplication in your organization. Realize, your personal actions will be the first part of creating the leadership others will want to follow. You MUST be a leader who leads by example and one who leads with action. Your personal actions of working with the system and strategy will ensure you can teach others to do the same. You MUST be willing to do and actually do what you expect others to do. Ask yourself, “when I am working with my downline, am I teaching the 3 key elements of duplication?” You should be teaching the system, strategy and leadership. It is essential to creating the duplication at exponential results.

Don’t forget to Create Volume In building your duplicating business, make certain that you are not just focusing on recruitment. Remember, if no one sells anything, no one will make money. You are in business to make a profit and to make a profit, products and services must be sold. So what strategy should we use in our business? Use a strategy which creates volume flow. Have a balance between retailing of your products/services and recruiting.

Work from your Strengths! John D Rockefeller says, “The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it put your whole soul into it – every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have.”In the book, “Soar with Your Strengths” by Donald Clifton & Paula Nelson, the authors teach a philosophy of strengths. You learn how to identify your strengths and do more actions from a position of strengths. Plus, you learn how to identify your weaknesses and manage them. What is your strength? What are your weaknesses? Are you being held back in your business because you are really not doing what you know you do best.For me, when I began to work from my strengths, I found I was having much more fun. Also, I discovered real quick that no one would build my business for me. I also discovered that it was up to me to create the model of duplication for my team. To create the duplication I truly wanted, I had to develop the systems and strategies. Not just create the systems and strategies, but also market test them to ensure they work and bring the desired results. To do this creation of a duplication system, I required myself to manage the weaknesses and work from my strengths. In working toward working “ON” my business, I knew I have to understand every process within my business. I did not have to be perfect in every area, just understand it so I could manage my weaknesses and work from my strength. Following is the strategy I applied so I could stop working “IN” my business and start working “ON” my business. This strategy will put you ahead of your competition, but only if you work the strategy. Remember, consistent action is critical.

STRATEGY:
Stop Working “IN” Your Business and Start Working “ON” Your Business! OBJECTIVE: Work “ON” your business and create a system as if you were duplicating it 5,000 times.

HOW TO DO IT:
1. Read the book or listen to the tape, “The E-Myth” (or The E-Myth Revisited) by Michael Gerber. This book will help you understand the philosophy of how to work “ON” your business.

2. Read the book, “Soar with Your Strengths” by Donald Clifton & Paula Nelson. This book will help you identify your strengths and weaknesses.

3. Work “ON” your business focusing around your strength and outsource the rest (to your upline and downline). Keep in mind you must know how each process works so you can properly manage your weaknesses.

4. Create a “Plan of Action”! Be sure to listen to “Prospecting 101; A Plan!” (available from Dr Robin Rushlo)

5. Work your “Plan of Action”! Action creates results. It is up to you to take personal action. You have to be a leader who leads with action if you expect to grow a team of action oriented leaders. Lead by example. You can’t outsource personal action of relationship building. This means you must learn and master effective techniques in prospecting, recruiting, and leadership. Talk with your upline and mentor.

6. Revisit your “Plan of Action” and revise where necessary. Be sure to consult your coach (or upline). Use the tracking worksheets. Tracking will help you to fully understand where you are and where revisions should be made.

Place your plan into action now!

Copyright (c) 2007 Robin Rushlo

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Robin_Rushlo

That little “a” with a circle curling around it that is found in email addresses is most commonly referred to as the “at” symbol.

Surprisingly though, there is no official, universal name for this sign. There are dozens of strange terms to describe the @ symbol.

Several languages use words that associate the shape of the symbol with some type of animal.

For instance, some quirky names for the @ symbol include:
apenstaartje – Dutch for “monkey’s tail”
snabel – Danish for “elephant’s trunk”
kissanhnta – Finnish for “cat’s tail”
klammeraffe – German for “hanging monkey”
papaki – Greek for “little duck”
kukac – Hungarian for “worm”
dalphaengi – Korean for “snail”
grisehale – Norwegian for “pig’s tail”
sobachka – Russian for “little dog”

Before it became the standard symbol for electronic mail, the @ symbol was used to represent the cost or weight of something. For instance, if you purchased 6 apples, you might write it as 6 apples @ $1.10 each.

With the introduction of e-mail came the popularity of the @ symbol. The @ symbol or the “at sign” separates a person’s online user name from his mail server address. For instance, joe@uselessknowledge.com. Its widespread use on the Internet made it necessary to put this symbol on keyboards in other countries that have never seen or used the symbol before. As a result, there is really no official name for this symbol.

The actual origin of the @ symbol remains an enigma.

History tells us that the @ symbol stemmed from the tired hands of the medieval monks. During the Middle Ages before the invention of printing presses, every letter of a word had to be painstakingly transcribed by hand for each copy of a published book. The monks that performed these long, tedious copying duties looked for ways to reduce the number of individual strokes per word for common words. Although the word “at” is quite short to begin with, it was a common enough word in texts and documents that medieval monks thought it would be quicker and easier to shorten the word “at” even more. As a result, the monks looped the “t” around the “a” and created it into a circle-eliminating two strokes of the pen.

Another story tells the @ symbol was used as an abbreviation for the word amphora. Amphora was the unit of measurement that determined the amount held by the large terra cotta jars that were used to ship grain, spices and wine. Giorgio Stabile, an Italian scholar, discovered the @ symbol in a letter written in 1536 by a Florentine trader named Francesco Lapi. It seems likely that some industrious trader saw the @ symbol in a book transcribed by monks using the symbol and appropriated it for use as the amphora abbreviation. This would also explain why it became common to use the symbol in relation to quantities of something.

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